What Happens When You: Work, Date, And Try To Stay Away From Crazies
It all goes horribly wrong.
Less than 48 hours after your parents drive off into the sunset with your car as their vacation getaway mobile and they have managed to swipe the whole front panel of the car while trying to park. Yes that built up homicidal tendencies you haven't felt since leaving for college are creeping back (And you thought they were gone - NOPE they are just dormant) - Yep type of feelings come out.
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handI knock on my room's door to see if my dad is awake - it's almost 9:30 am and my dad never sleeps in past 7:30 am.
I open the door and I see him all snuggled up with the covers up to his chin and hands gripping the top of the covers, smiling like that dumb, look how happy and eager I am look kid's get on Christmas Day. Me: "Hey dad, you okay?" Dad: "Yes, I slept so well. This bed is VERY comfortable." Seriously after all the whining he did last night about the room and how he ordered me to get a BIG bed and he likes what I got!? And he is the first one to sleep in it! BAH Me: "Yeah...glad you had a good night's rest. I just need to get some clothes out of my room and closet." Dad: "Your room? No, it's OUR room." He then has that happy dumb kid face on and then curls to the side and goes back to sleep as if I am not there with my mouth hanging open, just flabbergasted. Me:"What the..." I finally look around, and he has moved all my personal stuff away. My books, notebooks, all shoved to a small corner. He set up his own books, ipad, eye glass/ contact station. Even my closet - he made a section just for clothes. WHO UNPACKS THEIR STUFF INTO SOMEONE ELSE'S CLOSET. WHO DOES THAT. Yep, that guy. The glamazon princess. D*mn empire builder. And my mother woke us all up at 4:15am with so much rustling and banging around the kitchen for who knows what reason. We haven't slept since.
Also I have been informed that my dad is taking my car the whole day to go play ping pong at a club he found online. When I say my car is a bit dirty from my road trip and it needs gas, my dad looks at me weirdly and says:"You have time to fill up the tank and wash the windows before I go. I still need to eat breakfast." Me:"...too many princesses in one place." My mom butts in: "Also, we will be taking the car the whole day tomorrow to meet up with friends. Then you sister's graduation from grad school is tomorrow and right after that we will be taking your car for a week and a half to go on a road trip." Me, looking at them all crazy eyed at this point: "So basically you guys are going to ride off into the sunrise on Saturday morning for your trip with my car so I won't have wheels from today on out for for a week and a half? They both look at me and were like: "What- you have wheels. You have a bike right?" Grumble. I am not sure how all four of us have ever cohabited together before as we are all in our own little worlds and have our own big, grand plans.. To Be Continued... Picked up parents from the airport was like being a porter. Even when I already had my hand on the luggage to put into the trunk
My dad:"Take my luggage and watch out, two of you will need to lift it into the car" and then flounced into the backseat like he was Madonna. In the car he and my mom had a glamazon discussion/match on "who is the prettiest princess of them all" contest. My dad started: "My two guy friends are bickering at me and telling me I am too skinny now I do weight work and I am watching my figure" (My theory is they are jealous- like gossipy old women). My mom very bitterly replied: "Well I have never been told that by my friends as I have never had an underweight problem." ( My mom is 110 pounds). I get us back to my sister's place. Still haven't been said hello to or acknowledged my name (and it has been about 30 minutes). I am dragging the luggage out of the car, and we didn't even get into the door of my sisters place before my dad was like "Look at me and see how fit I am, now that there is light" Me, looking up at the sky and shaking my head:".... You have got to be kidding me." My dad then tells me it's best if I don't spend any money after he gets in the door since I quit my job. Then right after he went into my room like "Where am I sleeping? Where is my king sized bed I asked for? All I see is this girly small bed". He went on and was like where is the king bed - on and on. Then went into my sister's room and eyed her bed. He was getting jealous she had a bigger bed. My sister looks at him and does a defensive stance between her room and him. Almost like a priest warding off a potential spirit: "No dad you still would be unhappy because Aubrey's bed got in yesterday and is brand new." Grumpily my dad heads back to my room to put down his stuff. He then started nosing around and asked where his yogurt was ( I had asked my parents what they wanted food wise when they got here but they went into different tangents and never told me). My dad: "We usually have 0% Greek yogurt, plain, no sugar, and has to be 130 calories or less. We eat that with big blueberries - BIG BLUEBERRIES". So guess who wasn't supposed to spend and still doesn't have a name at this point had to shuffle off at 9:45 pm to Whole Food to get Greek yogurt, fruits and some protein for my mother. Yep that would be me. Later that night I did get acknowledged when I found my dad's shoes... Yep, I officially got a name after hours lol. To Be Continued... |
AubreyA girl trying to enjoy life on the West Coast without any worries, but odd things just keep happening. Archives
November 2016
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