What Happens When You: Work, Date, And Try To Stay Away From Crazies
It all goes horribly wrong.
I was on the train and clearly very bored. I really had no idea who this was until he said his name - then it was game on. Had I known before I wouldn't have responded, but since the convo started I had to see it through aka I knew what I was doing when I was messing with this guy. If only he knew the real me - not first date me - bwwahahahahaha
Another pro tip: If you are going to feign ignorance, you have to be 100% committed. And I am goooooooooodddddd.
0 Comments
I'm just wondering what filters I have on????
Most of them have PhDs or sometimes multiple advanced degrees (like PhD + masters, etc). I have only had one date that just had a bachelors degree. Strange. Then again, I am biologically a female in The Bay - Yep I am the true unicorn in all of this! #winningwithoutevenhavingtotry Wth! There is only so much a girl can handle.
First the CMB would be v-day date was married to a Russian woman. Second, the tinder date last weekend ended a long term affair with a Russian woman. And then I get to a date last night with a guy who's name was super American, looked all American in photos, his texts were in flawless English and I get to the date and he has a Russian accent, super built and wearing all the Russian Orthodox necklace and Jesus Prayer ring. I give up. No more dates for a while - at least I am traveling for two weeks so I can hopefully get some distance and do a foreigner dating cleanse (and give all the apps some time to get me some new matches) This city is wayyy too small!!!!!
My date was new to Tinder and we went to walk his dog (aka I wanted to hang out with a dog in between my lunch and dinner obligations). Me 5 minutes into me petting and playing with his dog that he mentions "they got him from xyz". The plural got my antenna goes up. Me: "Let me guess you just got out of a five year relationship." Him: "Huh? How did you know?" Me: "Because girls don't bring back a dog into a relationship unless they want the guy to commit on some level. That isn't a year 1 rookie move. That is like a year 3 let's think about hitched plan." Him: "Yeah, that's exactly how it worked out. She is actually Russian, married, and works as a bartender." Me: "Hmmm, based on the location she must be hot because that area is full of corporate guys and so it is hard to get a job there as a bartender. So I know why you fell for it." Date: "Yeah, she is crazy hot, but she also had me taking her on vacations and buying her a call." Me: "Let me guess, basic gold digger 101 - you paid for the place you shared, expected 5 star resorts and I'm assuming you got her a cute BMW coupe to show her status symbol." Date: "DO YOU LIKE KNOW HER OR SOMETHING?! That is exactly what happened?!" Me: "Heh this is almost too easy. Logically, it's easy to figure out her personality and yours. Let me help you with your Tinder profile, so you don't sound like such a sucker and then I am leaving for my dinner." Me getting to my dinner party and rehashing the story. I mentioned what he did and the area he was working in - which I thought was pretty da*n niche no one would know it. Another Guest: "Wait, I'm in that field and I just quit my job, but I was asked yesterday to talk to a new hire coming in next week." Me: "Is his name ____?" Guest:"Omg, yes. Now I know too much about this guy and I haven't yet to meet. I don't know what I would do if I met him in person." Me chortled. Oops. That's insensitive. Honestly, I should actually start screening people before I go on dates with them.
But seriously, I maybe a super sleuth by the time all this is over or I just give up and get cats and live happily ever after. Well switching over to CMB hasn't changed my dating pool it seems - looks like even more weirder results!
When did I become a priest and people have to confess their sins to me!??! I had a feeling he was still in something with a girl, so not all that shocked, just a little shocked that of course, something like this would happen to me. Him: "I'm going to blow your mind right now." Me (Inside thoughts): "Heh, doubt you could ever blow my mind." Him:"I'm married." Me (I did the ring finger check and there wasn't even a tan line): "Wait, our original first date was scheduled for V-Day and I was the one who changed it - You weren't planning on spending it with her, but a random stranger?! That's jacked up!" Him: "Blah blah blah, excuses." (Sorry, I tuned out to that part) Basically after that it became a therapy session and then became a feedback session for another 30 minutes. Him: "You should tell people you don't drink because for me that is a big part of my life. Let's liken it to going to mini golf and you say you don't mini golf, but I will watch you play. It makes the date super awkward." Me: "And you should tell your dates you are married." (pretty sure that isn't an apples to apples comparison) Him: "I'm sorry I don't have all my stuff together and you deserve someone who can provide you with what you said during the date. I hope you didn't think this was a big waste of time." Me: "Nah. No one is forcing me to stay. And besides, I have always wanted to check this place out and you paid for my non-alcoholic drink, which was nice of you. Most guys here don't pay. So the bar for a date is THAT LOW. So we are good. But we are never meeting again." Him: "Oh I thought that was a given." Me: "Just checking. I needed to confirm and give this closure." He paid and we walked out together - gave him a hug and wished him luck. Then I trotted off to a music concert. Looked around concert for my next dating victim (though I was the victim this evening!) and most of the goers were gay men and very loud tweens. So got some tacos and a cookie and sang with the crowd. It was a great night. It makes me smile. He touched my leg a couple of times during the date to feel out the situation, which I pretended to be oblivious to it all (I wasn't, I was intentionally ignoring it). Thank god I didn't get dressed up for this date (even my boss when he saw my outfit was like wow you really give no fucks about dating do you) or comb my hair, but still - MARRIED! Well I get that is one way of getting catfished. He legit got the cut and run look in his eyes and started to sweat and said: "They are very competitive. I'm not sure if I am ready to have them back in my life."
Heh. Well at least he paid for dinner - he knew that if he didn't, at least one of my friends would find out and cut him to shreds. I love my friends. I have been going on dates for over 6 months now and I have get to have anyone pay for a meal for me. I have either paid half of the bill or gotten totally stiffed on food bills altogether! I am definitely doing something wrong here.
Lesson Learned: Even though the coffee place where we met was very nice. But I need to know beforehand where the actual locations of dates are and if we should be walking around there. It was my date's neighborhood - like I am going to have to "X" out anyone in that part of town. I am not going back!
To be fair I dressed the part: I have a pattern to not try for the second date. Like really - No effort (no makeup, glasses, overly big pjs with stains and toothpaste on them, carrying a bag of my laundered clothes). A homeless woman came up and tried to rifle through my bag to see if I had anything to share with her. Apparently I was too good at giving no fucks. At least have the decency to put yourself on the ghost mode of LinkedIn so I don't know you are viewing my profile. People are so strange... but the other part of me is wondering - WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY LINKEDIN that you couldn't respond?!?!?!?!
We don't need to date, but if it is career advice, I am good with getting feedback. Come back here! Guess I am going to wait to have my first 2018 date. |
AubreyA girl trying to enjoy life on the West Coast without any worries, but odd things just keep happening. Archives
November 2016
Categories
All
|